My struggle with trusting my intuition may be familiar for many. The no about harvesting a certain patch of plants second guessed and suddenly I am reminded strongly by an injury. The ignoring of a “I should” resulting in an hour later knowing that if I followed through then this mess would’ve been averted.
I’m not doing that as much anymore as I practice trusting those “Knowings” that rise up from my heart more and more completely. It is a practice though so I am surely reminded when I slip out more quickly and readily in my awareness then before.
I’ve got a new knowing though. A recognition that I am not to continue with a community I’ve loved and who contain people my heart sings in Synchronisity with. I’ve had the inkling for months now. Watched the natural shifts in energy within the community as it came to its own beautiful natural ending, and now is being rebirthed anew. It is a wonder to behold and a part of me longs to just jump right back in. The thing is there is this knowing, “that is not for you” I hear strongly singing through my entire being. An opportunity to trust and experience the trusting of that Knowing at a deeper level is right here. Adjacent and supportive but not immersed or feeling obligated, is where I need to be. Even if all my friends are getting in the pool, doesn’t mean I should jump in.
That’s orienting based on others still. So What do I do? “Go deeper within” they say asking me to do the work, I talk of doing and facilitate for others in a deeper but also more aware way then I have before. My energetic work has been subconscious and dream realm for as long as I can remember. Those aspects remain but as I bring this work into this plane of physical existence and embody it through real aligned actions via the awareness and Trust. I am finding a palatable flavour on the wind that I recognise as resonating with me. A resonance I wouldn’t of recognised even a few years ago because I was so busy being immersed in the pool of Others and their stuff. The Support position in the background has always been a safe place to remain small.
I am more fully aware of this interplay of energies between me and not me. It is the key to being able to discern the answers to the questions I pose and my own direction. So the practice of trusting the Knowing in my heart continues. Through this practice I am also learning how to engage with those whose Truths run both parallel and perpendicular to my own. To engage in a way that does not compromise the foundations of Love and Compassion I’ve set myself within.
I don’t have answers for others on how to navigate these journeys for themselves though. I have my own knowing and guidance and the loving living example of sharing my journey and the insights I being. All of it though needs to be viewed through your own filters of discernment because my truth cannot be yours but it can resonate together like two strings on different guitar, or maybe one of us is a lute and another a harp. None of us are wrong in being who we are.